The Cost of Community

What does it actually cost me to be a villager instead of just enjoying the village?

The friends in Luke could have sent the paralyzed man on ahead and wished him well. Instead they carried him, hoisted him, tore up a stranger's roof, and probably never got inside the room themselves. Jesus looked at them, not just at him, and called what he saw faith.

On one of those days, he was teaching; and there were Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting by who had come out of every village of Galilee, Judea, and Jerusalem. The power of the Lord was with him to heal them. Behold, men brought a paralyzed man on a cot, and they sought to bring him in to lay before Jesus. Not finding a way to bring him in because of the multitude, they went up to the housetop and let him down through the tiles with his cot into the middle before Jesus. Seeing their faith, he said to him, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.”

Luke 5:17–20

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

…each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others. Have this in your mind, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, didn’t consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, yes, the death of the cross.

Philippians 2:4–8

Can I belong to a church without ever actually being known by anyone in it?

The people of the early church in Acts sold what they had so no one among them went without, and they met in each other's homes. It is hard to do that from the back row, slipping out before the benediction.

All who believed were together, and had all things in common. They sold their possessions and goods, and distributed them to all, according as anyone had need. Day by day, continuing steadfastly with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread at home, they took their food with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. The Lord added to the assembly day by day those who were being saved.

Acts 2:44–47

Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24–25

For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot would say, “Because I’m not the hand, I’m not part of the body,” it is not therefore not part of the body. If the ear would say, “Because I’m not the eye, I’m not part of the body,” it’s not therefore not part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the smelling be? But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body, just as he desired. If they were all one member, where would the body be? But now they are many members, but one body. The eye can’t tell the hand, “I have no need for you,” or again the head to the feet, “I have no need for you.”

1 Corinthians 12:14–21

Why is receiving help so much harder for me than giving it?

For some people the costly side of community is the asking, not the doing. Naomi sent Ruth and Orpah away and stood alone in her grief, and Ruth is the one who refused to let her stay alone.

Ruth said, “Don’t urge me to leave you, and to return from following you, for where you go, I will go; and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May Yahweh do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.”

Ruth 1:16–17

He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, and in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Then he came to Simon Peter. He said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “You don’t know what I am doing now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I don’t wash you, you have no part with me.” Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”

John 13:6–9

What happens when I love my idea of what this community should be more than the people actually in it?

A community built on one person's picture of perfection can end up with no room for anybody else in the room. Nobody in the New Testament letters gets an easy, conflict-free church.

…with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2–3

So then, let’s follow after things which make for peace, and things by which we may build one another up. Don’t overthrow God’s work for food’s sake. All things indeed are clean, however it is evil for that man who creates a stumbling block by eating. It is good to not eat meat, drink wine, nor do anything by which your brother stumbles, is offended, or is made weak.

Romans 14:19–21

Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.

Colossians 3:12–14

Is it wrong to step back from a community that is costing me more than it should?

There are places where the price of belonging is your authenticity, and one-sided relationships wear a person down until giving turns into resentment. Even Paul and Barnabas parted ways over a disagreement and kept going.

After some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s return now and visit our brothers in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, to see how they are doing.” Barnabas planned to take John, who was called Mark, with them also. But Paul didn’t think that it was a good idea to take with them someone who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia, and didn’t go with them to do the work. Then the contention grew so sharp that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and went out, being commended by the brothers to the grace of God. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the assemblies.

Acts 15:36–41

Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

But when Peter came to Antioch, I resisted him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before some people came from James, he ate with the Gentiles. But when they came, he drew back and separated himself, fearing those who were of the circumcision. And the rest of the Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that even Barnabas was carried away with their hypocrisy. But when I saw that they didn’t walk uprightly according to the truth of the Good News, I said to Peter before them all, “If you, being a Jew, live as the Gentiles do, and not as the Jews do, why do you compel the Gentiles to live as the Jews do?

Galatians 2:11–14