Belonging & Becoming

Who is actually supposed to be at my table?

Jesus tells a host to leave his friends, his family, and his rich neighbors off the guest list and invite the people who could never return the favor. In a culture where every meal came with an expectation of repayment, that is not a small adjustment. It is a different way of deciding who matters.

He also said to the one who had invited him, “When you make a dinner or a supper, don’t call your friends, nor your brothers, nor your kinsmen, nor rich neighbors, or perhaps they might also return the favor, and pay you back. But when you make a feast, ask the poor, the maimed, the lame, or the blind; and you will be blessed, because they don’t have the resources to repay you. For you will be repaid in the resurrection of the righteous.”

Luke 14:12–14

But he said to him, “A certain man made a great supper, and he invited many people. He sent out his servant at supper time to tell those who were invited, ‘Come, for everything is ready now.’ They all as one began to make excuses. “The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go try them out. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I can’t come.’ “That servant came, and told his lord these things. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor, maimed, blind, and lame.’ “The servant said, ‘Lord, it is done as you commanded, and there is still room.’ “The lord said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you that none of those men who were invited will taste of my supper. For many are called, but few are chosen.’”

Luke 14:16–24

Then the King will tell those on his right hand, ‘Come, blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you took me in. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger and take you in, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ “The King will answer them, ‘Most certainly I tell you, because you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Matthew 25:34–40

What am I losing by needing to be the important one in the room?

The guests at that dinner picked the best seats and Jesus told a parable about them out loud at the party. It ends with the famous reversal: whoever lifts himself up gets moved down. The tricky part is that most of us do not think we are doing it.

He spoke a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they chose the best seats, and said to them, “When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, don’t sit in the best seat, since perhaps someone more honorable than you might be invited by him, and he who invited both of you would come and tell you, ‘Make room for this person.’ Then you would begin, with shame, to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes, he may tell you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

Luke 14:7–11

Don’t exalt yourself in the presence of the king, or claim a place among great men; for it is better that it be said to you, “Come up here,” than that you should be put lower in the presence of the prince, whom your eyes have seen.

Proverbs 25:6–7

Have this in your mind, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, didn’t consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, yes, the death of the cross. Therefore God also highly exalted him, and gave to him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, those on earth, and those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5–11

Samuel said, “Though you were little in your own sight, weren’t you made the head of the tribes of Israel? Yahweh anointed you king over Israel; and Yahweh sent you on a journey, and said, ‘Go, and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.’ Why then didn’t you obey Yahweh’s voice, but took the plunder, and did that which was evil in Yahweh’s sight?”

1 Samuel 15:17–19

Am I saying 'everyone belongs' in a way that costs me nothing?

One of the guests hears Jesus and responds with a pious line about how blessed the people at God's feast will be. Jesus answers him with the banquet parable, because the man had turned a job description into a doctrine. It is easier to affirm that everyone will be blessed someday than to rewrite your guest list today.

When one of those who sat at the table with him heard these things, he said to him, “Blessed is he who will feast in God’s Kingdom!” But he said to him, “A certain man made a great supper, and he invited many people. He sent out his servant at supper time to tell those who were invited, ‘Come, for everything is ready now.’ They all as one began to make excuses. “The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go try them out. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I can’t come.’ “That servant came, and told his lord these things. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor, maimed, blind, and lame.’ “The servant said, ‘Lord, it is done as you commanded, and there is still room.’ “The lord said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you that none of those men who were invited will taste of my supper. For many are called, but few are chosen.’”

Luke 14:15–24

And if a brother or sister is naked and in lack of daily food, and one of you tells them, “Go in peace. Be warmed and filled;” yet you didn’t give them the things the body needs, what good is it? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself.

James 2:15–17

But whoever has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, then closes his heart of compassion against him, how does God’s love remain in him? My little children, let’s not love in word only, or with the tongue only, but in deed and truth.

1 John 3:17–18

What happens when I make excuses instead of coming?

The people first invited to the banquet all said yes and then all had a reason at the last minute. A field, some oxen, a new marriage. None of them were evil reasons, which is what makes it sting. Jesus says the invited guests end up not tasting the banquet at all.

But he said to him, “A certain man made a great supper, and he invited many people. He sent out his servant at supper time to tell those who were invited, ‘Come, for everything is ready now.’ They all as one began to make excuses. “The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go try them out. Please have me excused.’ “Another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I can’t come.’ “That servant came, and told his lord these things. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor, maimed, blind, and lame.’ “The servant said, ‘Lord, it is done as you commanded, and there is still room.’ “The lord said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you that none of those men who were invited will taste of my supper. For many are called, but few are chosen.’”

Luke 14:16–24

He said to another, “Follow me!” But he said, “Lord, allow me first to go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead, but you go and announce God’s Kingdom.” Another also said, “I want to follow you, Lord, but first allow me to say good-bye to those who are at my house.” But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for God’s Kingdom.”

Luke 9:59–62

Jesus answered and spoke to them again in parables, saying, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who made a wedding feast for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast, but they would not come. Again he sent out other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, “Behold, I have prepared my dinner. My cattle and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the wedding feast!”’ But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his merchandise; and the rest grabbed his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. When the king heard that, he was angry, and sent his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. “Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited weren’t worthy. Go therefore to the intersections of the highways, and as many as you may find, invite to the wedding feast.’ Those servants went out into the highways and gathered together as many as they found, both bad and good. The wedding was filled with guests. “But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man who didn’t have on wedding clothing, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here not wearing wedding clothing?’ He was speechless. Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, take him away, and throw him into the outer darkness. That is where the weeping and grinding of teeth will be.’ For many are called, but few chosen.”

Matthew 22:1–14

Why does belonging keep asking me to change?

Right after the awkward dinner party, Luke has Jesus turn to the crowds with his hardest teaching: carry your cross, count the cost, give up your hold on things. Brandy's point was that you get a seat you did not earn, and then being at the table keeps reshaping you. Those two things were not competing in her telling.

Now great multitudes were going with him. He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me, and doesn’t disregard his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he can’t be my disciple. Whoever doesn’t bear his own cross and come after me, can’t be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, doesn’t first sit down and count the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? Or perhaps, when he has laid a foundation and isn’t able to finish, everyone who sees begins to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ Or what king, as he goes to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends an envoy and asks for conditions of peace. So therefore, whoever of you who doesn’t renounce all that he has, he can’t be my disciple.

Luke 14:25–33

He called the multitude to himself with his disciples and said to them, “Whoever wants to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it; and whoever will lose his life for my sake and the sake of the Good News will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? For what will a man give in exchange for his life? For whoever will be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man also will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

Mark 8:34–38

Therefore I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:1–2