True Christian Parenting

Why does Paul bother speaking to children directly?

In a world that left children at the dump, Paul writes to them by name and expects them to hear the letter read. He treats them as people made in God's image who belong at the table, not as an interruption to the real work.

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord.

Colossians 3:20

God created man in his own image. In God’s image he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

They were bringing to him little children, that he should touch them, but the disciples rebuked those who were bringing them. But when Jesus saw it, he was moved with indignation and said to them, “Allow the little children to come to me! Don’t forbid them, for God’s Kingdom belongs to such as these. Most certainly I tell you, whoever will not receive God’s Kingdom like a little child, he will in no way enter into it.” He took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

Mark 10:13–16

Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They won’t be disappointed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalms 127:3–5

What is the point of obeying my parents if no one is watching?

Paul does not hand children a candy or a threat. He hands them the pleasure of the unseen God, which assumes a child can care about what God thinks of them even when the house is empty.

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord.

Colossians 3:20

“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:2–3

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.

Exodus 20:12

But Yahweh said to Samuel, “Don’t look on his face, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for I don’t see as man sees. For man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself.

James 2:17

How do I discipline without crushing my child's spirit?

The warning is not against discipline but against the kind that comes out of a parent's own loss of control. A child can tell the difference between correction and a parent's temper, and the second one discourages where the first one steadies.

Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so that they won’t be discouraged.

Colossians 3:21

You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.

James 1:19–20

One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

What am I actually aiming at in my children?

It is easy to settle for clean rooms and good grades and never ask what they love. Paul's concern is that a child not be discouraged inside, which means a parent has to be watching the inside at all.

You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

These words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:6–9

Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

You offspring of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man out of his good treasure brings out good things, and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings out evil things.

Matthew 12:34–35

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings out that which is good, and the evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings out that which is evil, for out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks.

Luke 6:45

What happens when I have done everything and my child still walks away?

The sermon ends not on a method but on a Father who loves our children more than we do. The prodigal's father sees his son a long way off and runs, and that is the picture a parent is handed when their own effort runs out.

“He arose and came to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion, and ran, fell on his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let’s eat and celebrate; for this, my son, was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found.’ Then they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:20–24

Or who is there among you who, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, who will give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:9–11

Like a father has compassion on his children, so Yahweh has compassion on those who fear him. For he knows how we are made. He remembers that we are dust.

Psalms 103:13–14

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6