Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost

What do I do when someone in the church has genuinely hurt me?

Jesus does not pretend the hurt did not happen. He sends the wounded person first to the one who hurt them, alone, and only widens the circle when that fails. The point is not to win but to get the relationship back.

“If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.

Matthew 18:15–17

“‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him. “‘You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people; but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am Yahweh.

Leviticus 19:17–18

Debate your case with your neighbor, and don’t betray the confidence of another,…

Proverbs 25:9

Is it unloving to set a boundary with someone who keeps hurting people?

Jesus ends the process with a hard line, and he means it. A community that will not protect the vulnerable is not being loving. The sermon holds both: you can say you cannot keep doing this, and still hope for the person's healing.

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.

Matthew 18:17

But as it is, I wrote to you not to associate with anyone who is called a brother who is a sexual sinner, or covetous, or an idolater, or a slanderer, or a drunkard, or an extortionist. Don’t even eat with such a person. For what do I have to do with also judging those who are outside? Don’t you judge those who are within? But those who are outside, God judges. “Put away the wicked man from among yourselves.”

1 Corinthians 5:11–13

If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you. For it is more profitable for you that one of your members should perish than for your whole body to be cast into Gehenna. If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off, and throw it away from you. For it is more profitable for you that one of your members should perish, than for your whole body to be cast into Gehenna.

Matthew 5:29–30

How do I stop church conflict from turning into gossip or a trial?

The sermon contrasts an audience or a jury with a loving community. Jesus' steps are built to keep the matter as small as it can be, not to broadcast it. When the circle widens, it widens toward people who will help heal it, not toward spectators.

One who brings gossip betrays a confidence, but one who is of a trustworthy spirit is one who keeps a secret.

Proverbs 11:13

Don’t speak against one another, brothers. He who speaks against a brother and judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. Only one is the lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge another?

James 4:11–12

Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Matthew 18:16

Where is Jesus when the conversation is going badly?

The promise about two or three gathered is spoken in the middle of a passage about conflict, not a quiet Bible study. Jesus says he is there in the messy, painful conversation itself, not waiting somewhere on the far side of it.

Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the middle of them.”

Matthew 18:19–20

…teaching them to observe all things that I commanded you. Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

Matthew 28:20

Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.

Psalms 34:18

I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you.

John 14:18

Can a person who has been pushed out ever come back?

The sermon hears hope even in the hardest line. In Matthew, Gentiles and tax collectors are exactly the people Jesus goes toward, so a boundary is not the last word. Matthew himself was a tax collector, and he sat at Jesus' table.

As Jesus passed by from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax collection office. He said to him, “Follow me.” He got up and followed him. As he sat in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Jesus and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw it, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” When Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do. But you go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ for I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Matthew 9:9–13

Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,…

Matthew 28:19

…so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive him and comfort him, lest by any means such a one should be swallowed up with his excessive sorrow. Therefore I beg you to confirm your love toward him.

2 Corinthians 2:7–8

Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted.

Galatians 6:1