Sunday, October 11 · Cottage Hill Baptist Church
The Divine Design: God's Plan for Marriage
All throughout creation God called each day good, until he saw the man alone. The sermon walks back to Genesis 2 to show God's design for marriage: two becoming one flesh, sharing a life rather than an address, leaving father and mother, receiving your spouse with gratitude, and holding fast through the hard seasons.
The passages
Yahweh God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground Yahweh God formed every animal of the field, and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called every living creature became its name. The man gave names to all livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field; but for man there was not found a helper comparable to him. Yahweh God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. As the man slept, he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Yahweh God made a woman from the rib which he had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:18–25
Go deeper
Are we actually sharing a life, or just sharing the same address?
Two people can pay the same mortgage, raise the same kids, and never once share what is actually going on inside them. The sermon says God looked at Adam alone and called it not good, the only thing in creation he said that about, and made someone to correspond to him. Companionship is a life laid alongside another life, not a household run in parallel.
Yahweh God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Genesis 2:18
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one keep warm alone? If a man prevails against one who is alone, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:32–34
Let your spring be blessed. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe and a graceful deer— let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be captivated always with her love.
Proverbs 5:18–19
How do I leave my parents without loving them less?
Leaving father and mother does not mean dishonoring them. The sermon points out that Adam had no parents to leave, so the verse is a pattern for the rest of us: a new primary relationship gets its rightful place. It plays out in a hundred small moments, like who hears about a decision before your spouse does.
Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.
Exodus 20:12
They lifted up their voices and wept again; then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth stayed with her. She said, “Behold, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her god. Follow your sister-in-law.” Ruth said, “Don’t urge me to leave you, and to return from following you, for where you go, I will go; and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God.
Ruth 1:14–16
“For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:31–33
…and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.”
Matthew 19:5–6
Why am I more aware of what irritates me than what I love about my spouse?
The sermon says we maximize and minimize in the wrong direction. When we are dating, we see the strengths, and after the wedding we learn to see the flaws. Adam wakes up and looks at Eve and is grateful. Genuine gratitude for the specific things a spouse brings is a choice to keep seeing them.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of Man.”
Genesis 2:23
Praise Yahweh, my soul, and don’t forget all his benefits,…
Psalms 103:2
Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16–18
Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report: if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh.
Proverbs 18:22
What holds a marriage together when the road gets rough and it feels too far gone?
The sermon says hold fast, and expects seasons that are genuinely difficult: a job loss, a child lost, a betrayal, becoming a caregiver for aging parents. It may not be your spouse that is the problem but the stretch of road. Holding fast says I made a covenant and I will work through this.
Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
Yet you say, ‘Why?’ Because Yahweh has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant. Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. One who hates and divorces”, says Yahweh, the God of Israel, “covers his garment with violence!” says Yahweh of Armies. “Therefore pay attention to your spirit, that you don’t be unfaithful.
Malachi 2:14–16
…and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” They asked him, “Why then did Moses command us to give her a certificate of divorce and divorce her?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:5–9
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one keep warm alone? If a man prevails against one who is alone, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Be free from the love of money, content with such things as you have, for he has said, “I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:4–5