Sunday, November 1 · Citylife Presbyterian Church
A Christian Vision of Marriage
The sermon walks through Ephesians 5 to argue that earthly marriage is a signpost pointing to something larger: the union of Christ and the church. It then names the rival visions of marriage that compete for our attention and asks what we should keep in front of us week by week.
The passages
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:22–33
Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth.
Colossians 3:2
Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only born Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
John 3:16
Go deeper
Why does Paul keep moving back and forth between marriage and Christ's love for the church?
Paul gives wives and husbands each their word, but the ground under every command is not the marriage relationship at all. It is what Christ did, and he says the mystery was always pointing there.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:22–33
Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
He put all things in subjection under his feet, and gave him to be head over all things for the assembly, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.
Ephesians 1:22–23
I heard something like the voice of a great multitude, and like the voice of many waters, and like the voice of mighty thunders, saying, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns! Let’s rejoice and be exceedingly glad, and let’s give the glory to him. For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his wife has made herself ready.” It was given to her that she would array herself in bright, pure, fine linen, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. He said to me, “Write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb.’” He said to me, “These are true words of God.”
Revelation 19:6–9
What happens when a marriage is asked to fill the place only God can fill?
The preacher names the voice that tells us a spouse should complete us, satisfy the deep yearning, and give our lives their whole purpose. When one person carries the weight of heaven, both people break. He is careful, too, about the opposite error, making too little of marriage.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect.
Ephesians 5:25–27
As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants after you, God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
Psalms 42:1–2
“For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the spring of living waters, and cut out cisterns for themselves: broken cisterns that can’t hold water.
Jeremiah 2:13
…who exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
Romans 1:25