CtK Raleigh - Sunday 10/18/2026

How do I keep convincing myself that what I did was fine when I know it wasn't?

Saul hears the sheep before he hears the question, and he still says he obeyed. David's heart catches him after a census, and Nathan has to tell him a story about a lamb before the truth lands. Self-deception works by letting us both know and not know at the same time.

Samuel came to Saul; and Saul said to him, “You are blessed by Yahweh! I have performed the commandment of Yahweh.” Samuel said, “Then what does this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the cattle which I hear mean?” Saul said, “They have brought them from the Amalekites; for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the cattle, to sacrifice to Yahweh your God. We have utterly destroyed the rest.”

1 Samuel 15:13–15

Yahweh sent Nathan to David. He came to him, and said to him, “There were two men in one city: the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had very many flocks and herds, but the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and raised. It grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food, drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was like a daughter to him. A traveler came to the rich man, and he didn’t want to take of his own flock and of his own herd to prepare for the wayfaring man who had come to him, but took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” David’s anger burned hot against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As Yahweh lives, the man who has done this deserves to die! He must restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing and because he had no pity!” Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what Yahweh, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul.

2 Samuel 12:1–7

The heart is deceitful above all things and it is exceedingly corrupt. Who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Why do I care so much more about what people think of me than about what God thinks?

Saul confesses his sin and in the same breath asks Samuel to make him look good in front of the elders. Pilate washes his hands in front of a crowd, and Peter warms himself by a fire while denying he knows Jesus. The fear of people runs very deep.

Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned; for I have transgressed the commandment of Yahweh and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, please pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship Yahweh.” Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you; for you have rejected Yahweh’s word, and Yahweh has rejected you from being king over Israel.” As Samuel turned around to go away, Saul grabbed the skirt of his robe, and it tore. Samuel said to him, “Yahweh has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today, and has given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you. Also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent; for he is not a man, that he should repent.” Then he said, “I have sinned; yet please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and come back with me, that I may worship Yahweh your God.”

1 Samuel 15:24–30

The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe.

Proverbs 29:25

Pilate, wishing to please the multitude, released Barabbas to them, and handed over Jesus, when he had flogged him, to be crucified.

Mark 15:15

They seized him and led him away, and brought him into the high priest’s house. But Peter followed from a distance. When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat among them. A certain servant girl saw him as he sat in the light, and looking intently at him, said, “This man also was with him.” He denied Jesus, saying, “Woman, I don’t know him.” After a little while someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them!” But Peter answered, “Man, I am not!” After about one hour passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, “Truly this man also was with him, for he is a Galilean!” But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about!” Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the Lord’s word, how he said to him, “Before the rooster crows you will deny me three times.” He went out, and wept bitterly.

Luke 22:54–62

Is there a sin I have gotten good at explaining away, and what would it take to see it?

Saul builds alibis and blames the troops, and Samuel tells him that obedience is what God wanted, not a fitting sacrifice. Looking for a prophet means letting a friend who can see what you cannot tell you the truth. The rich young ruler walks away sad because he already knows the answer, and Job refuses to pretend there is nothing to confess.

Why then didn’t you obey Yahweh’s voice, but took the plunder, and did that which was evil in Yahweh’s sight?” Saul said to Samuel, “But I have obeyed Yahweh’s voice, and have gone the way which Yahweh sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But the people took of the plunder, sheep and cattle, the best of the devoted things, to sacrifice to Yahweh your God in Gilgal.” Samuel said, “Has Yahweh as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying Yahweh’s voice? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim. Because you have rejected Yahweh’s word, he has also rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:19–23

…if like Adam I have covered my transgressions, by hiding my iniquity in my heart, because I feared the great multitude, and the contempt of families terrified me, so that I kept silence, and didn’t go out of the door—…

Job 31:33–34

A certain ruler asked him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus asked him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good, except one: God. You know the commandments: ‘Don’t commit adultery,’ ‘Don’t murder,’ ‘Don’t steal,’ ‘Don’t give false testimony,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’” He said, “I have observed all these things from my youth up.” When Jesus heard these things, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute it to the poor. Then you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was very rich.

Luke 18:18–23

Can God still forgive me when I have been running from him for so long?

The sermon's hope rests on a just judge who takes the judgment himself, so the guilty can come back without excuses. David writes his confession after being confronted about a sin he spent a year hiding. The prodigal son comes home while he is still dirty, and the father runs to meet him.

Have mercy on me, God, according to your loving kindness. According to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity. Cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions. My sin is constantly before me. Against you, and you only, I have sinned, and done that which is evil in your sight, so you may be proved right when you speak, and justified when you judge.

Psalms 51:1–4

But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough to spare, and I’m dying with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will tell him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no more worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired servants.”’ “He arose and came to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion, and ran, fell on his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let’s eat and celebrate; for this, my son, was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found.’ Then they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:17–24

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:8–9